their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
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He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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