just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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