He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
