No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
