How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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