i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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