youre lurking in front of me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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