I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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