It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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