butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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