I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There's even glitter on my cock...
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