I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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