I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
