It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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