its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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