he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You smell like stripper and shame
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
