I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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