Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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