Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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