Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
