I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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