The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you mean i was at the winter classic?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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