party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
