i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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