One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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