One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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