I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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