Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
