at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
