in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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