can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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