He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
