Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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