His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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