apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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