2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
