My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
