what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
how drunk are you?
Several
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
