That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
