that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My pussy is not your playground.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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