I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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