the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
