For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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