i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
