you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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