Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
