Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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