I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
