5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize