I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
