Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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