Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
