i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
porn star boner night. come get it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
