She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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