my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
