I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm at about main and main street
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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