i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
