doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
