We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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