Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
