More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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