my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
