if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
