dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
